Sunday, May 9, 2010

Nobody heard me cry - John Devane

page 242
' It is only when something is lost that its preciousness is fully appreciated, and my daughter was the light of my life.
I'd stopped crying a long time ago. I knew better than most that tears served no purpose whatsoever. But that night, on my knees on the floor, my tears flowed freely. I know who was to blame for the desolation and loneliness I was feeling'


'I was eight years old when my childhood was stolen from me, twelve when my pimps first took me to the docks. By the time I was fourteen, all sense of self had been destroyed. It took years to regain any sense of a decent, normal life but I managed it, in the end.'

Nobody heard me cry is the shocking true story of a young boy growing up in poverty and neglect in Limerick, and the cycle of sexual abuse that followed. Years later, having completed his training as a solicitor, he still cannot escape the demons of his past and turns to alcohol to escape. Then one bleak night, John is called to a police station to defend a man on charge of sexual abuse, and he himself face-to-face with one of his previous attackers. His abuser doen't recognise him however, and now John is faced with a decision whose consequences will affect the rest of his life.

I love this book because it is touching and sad especially when John fell in love with Shea, one of the good-looking rich successful man who he met while he's working as a rent-boy. Shea took care of John for a while and one day John saw Shea with another young boy.

page 216
'You'll get over this', you have to. It's just the way things happen.'

'Thing is,' I said, near to tears, 'I've actually fallen in love with him.'

'I know,' he replied. 'But you're not gay, this is a passing phase'
'Listen , Shea isn't for you. He does this to everybody, he'll do it to me. I guarantee he'll be with somebody else by tomorrow night.'

'And you don't mind?' I felt shocked at how casual he was about it all.

'It's just the way it is,' he said.

Friday, May 7, 2010

I love these Reality Shows

1. The Millionaire matchmaker

WoW This show really changes my dating regime. This show is about the millionaire club, a matchmaking agency whom only millionaires and billionaires can join in (and have to pay expensive fees)and they will be matched with the girl of their dream. The girls can join for free but they have to have beauty, brain and class and selection is strict. Patti, who is the owner and ceos of the millionaire's club really gives great advices and insight on women, men, dating and relationship. Some of her advice actually I've heard and read many times in magazine articles, etc, but the way Patti say it here (honest straighforward no-nonsense) is way more convincing.
Such advice as 'only date a man who gives you saturday night, not monday night or tuesday night because he might spend the saturday night with someone else. Dont settle to be the second choice.' OR 'If the guy doesnt call a girl for too long(a week), if the girl is smart, she's moved on'. And many more.
I think in the past i always want to be a cool girlfriend. The one who let the boyfriend to have a boys night out every saturday night. and if he disappear and doesnt call for a week, i would be fine, and would welcome him with an open hand and even bigger smile. Gasp. (I am trying to find an excuse now) (can't find any).
Let's talk about someone else now.
In various episodes, you'll see the difference between a nice guy and a player/a jerk/or an arrogant player plus jerk. You'll also see the various girls, the smart independent ones (who moved on when the guy doesnt call) and the dumb one. You cant help but feeling irritated with the dumb one, although wait a second, i was just like them in many occasions.:)
although in Patti's club, most of the women are not only beautiful, but also strong and smart, so they are kind of an example actually, in dating and what to do with a man who is not serious :)

2. The Amazing Race

Every season this never fails to wow me. The challenges are so interesting and culturally educational (is there such word?). my fav of course is this all star season, where contestants from different seasons compete against each other. How amazing is that?? I was so excited to see Rob and Amber competing again against Uchenna and Joyce. On season 7, Rob and Amber are clearly the smartest, the quickest and always team no 1 at almost every pittstop. Yet on the final episode, because Rob & Amber taxi driver somehow got lost, Uchenna and Joyce end up winning the final prize and become the champion. I always love Uchenna and Joyce because they are such a good-hearted couple, I remember that one time, when they give some of their money to one other contestants because that other contestants get stripped of all their cash as a punishment. isnt that kind? So however good and fast Rob and Amber are, but everything need a little bit of luck at the end, and I guess Uchenna and Joyce have more luck (maybe the prayers from other contestants?). I love season 7 because most other season's winners are sometimes selfish and cunning and for a change, i'm so happy when Uchenna and Joyce win.
So at this all-star season, again Rob and Amber came first at the first three pitt stops, I actually think they are going to win this season, because they are clearly the smartest, the most efficient, the most competitive and the quickest team! but to everyone surprise, they dropped from top to bottom at the fourth pitt-stop and got eliminated. (maybe it got to do with Rob's on screen arrogance and Amber's lie to Charla & mirna)(and they also steal charla&mirna's cab). So they left and funnily, charla & mirna came from bottom to team no1 at the next pitt-stop.
Anyway, I always want the old couples not to get eliminated (poor thing, they are old and still race against the young, i totally admire them) so i'm quite sad when Team Guido and Teri and Ian came last and got eliminated. But someone got to go, right?

3. Toddlers and tiaras

This show is about little girls entering beauty pageants. They wear fake hair, fake teeth, fake nails, fake tan, and fake eyelashes. They had their full make-up on, their nails are freshly manicured and pedicured. They wore the most sparkly beautiful little dresses. In this show, you'll see that some of the little girls cry while their parents clearly are more interested in the pageant themselves. some others are so spoilt and already have rude attitudes towards their parents. Yet there are a few rare little girls who are so well-behaved and so engrossed in the competition and so talented in the dancing and singing and walking and smiling and waving. They are the most adorable ones!!

I'm sure you'll say 'I'll never enter my kids to this kind of competition. EVER!!'
Haha, me too, at first especially after watching how bitchy the parents are!(they are calling other children ugly in front of their kids! come on, no wonder the kids become rude and spoilt) but after watching those few (well-behaved, talented) girls makes me want to enter my future daughters into these kind of competition.
yes, i understand that this show is about supporting physical beauty.
And that inner beauty of a person is totally more important than physical beauty with fake this and fake that. But lets be honest in this world, if you are pretty, you are more likely to be noticed more, and if you can achieve both inner beauty and physical beauty, why not? of course entering your kids into this type of superficial competition is more about teaching them about sportmanship and just to have fun. when they get older, when they lookd back, they'll remember how cute they are and they'll laugh at how ridiculous the whole thing is! i'll only enter them if they are interested, im not going to force them if they are going to scream on stage. whats the point? and i think competition is good. medal makes you happy and losing makes you humble. my mom put me and my little sister in a few national costume competitions when i was in primary school. We had fun! It formed special bond between me, my mom and my sister because we did stuff together.

4. My other favs consist of cooking shows and dance shows, such So You Think You Can Dance, Dancing with the stars USA, Iron chef and Masterchef Australia.

-to be continued-