Nobody heard me cry - John Devane

page 242
' It is only when something is lost that its preciousness is fully appreciated, and my daughter was the light of my life.
I'd stopped crying a long time ago. I knew better than most that tears served no purpose whatsoever. But that night, on my knees on the floor, my tears flowed freely. I know who was to blame for the desolation and loneliness I was feeling'


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'I was eight years old when my childhood was stolen from me, twelve when my pimps first took me to the docks. By the time I was fourteen, all sense of self had been destroyed. It took years to regain any sense of a decent, normal life but I managed it, in the end.'

Nobody heard me cry is the shocking true story of a young boy growing up in poverty and neglect in Limerick, and the cycle of sexual abuse that followed. Years later, having completed his training as a solicitor, he still cannot escape the demons of his past and turns to alcohol to escape. Then one bleak night, John is called to a police station to defend a man on charge of sexual abuse, and he himself face-to-face with one of his previous attackers. His abuser doen't recognise him however, and now John is faced with a decision whose consequences will affect the rest of his life.

I love this book because it is touching and sad especially when John fell in love with Shea, one of the good-looking rich successful man who he met while he's working as a rent-boy. Shea took care of John for a while and one day John saw Shea with another young boy.

page 216
'You'll get over this', you have to. It's just the way things happen.'

'Thing is,' I said, near to tears, 'I've actually fallen in love with him.'

'I know,' he replied. 'But you're not gay, this is a passing phase'
'Listen , Shea isn't for you. He does this to everybody, he'll do it to me. I guarantee he'll be with somebody else by tomorrow night.'

'And you don't mind?' I felt shocked at how casual he was about it all.

'It's just the way it is,' he said.